From Darkness To Strength: My Journey Through Depression, Anxiety And Fibromyalgia

Life has a way of surprising us - sometimes with challenges we never imagined facing. My journey with depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia has been one of the hardest battles I’ve fought, but it’s also been one of the most transformative.

For years, I struggled in silence, trapped in a cycle of depression and self-destructive habits. Too much partying, drinking, and drug use became my way of numbing the pain, but it only pushed me further away from the person I wanted to be. Everything changed when I became a parent. The birth of my son gave me a reason to fight for a better future, but in his first year of life, I experienced a traumatic event that nearly took my life.

That moment became a turning point. It forced me to reevaluate everything I was doing and commit to making the changes I needed - not just for myself, but to be the father my son deserved. As I began searching for ways to heal my mind and body, I started noticing unexplainable physical pain that gradually intensified. Initially, I thought it was just stress or exhaustion, but over time, it became something I couldn’t ignore.

It hasn’t been easy, and the road to recovery has been long. I’ve tried more than 50 different methods to manage my depression, anxiety, and pain. From diets and exercise plans to supplements and alternative therapies, I became my own guinea pig in the pursuit of relief. Some things didn’t help at all, but others truly changed my life.

In this e-book, I’ll share the routines and strategies that actually worked for me - tools that I believe can make a real difference for others who are struggling. My journey has taught me that healing is possible with the right mindset, routines, and determination, and I hope my experience can inspire and guide you to take the first step toward healing.

You are not alone.

Let’s begin.

Chapter 1: Understanding the Struggle

Living with depression, anxiety, and chronic pain can feel like being trapped in an invisible storm. To the outside world, you might seem fine - capable, functioning, and holding it together. But on the inside, every day can feel like a battle against forces you can’t fully explain.

Depression and Anxiety: The Mental Weight

For years, depression and anxiety defined my reality. Depression was like a fog that clouded everything - my thoughts, my emotions, and even my physical energy. It wasn’t just sadness; it was a complete loss of interest in life, an emptiness that seemed to stretch on forever.

Anxiety, on the other hand, was a constant sense of dread. It was the feeling that something bad was about to happen, even when nothing was wrong. My mind was always racing, jumping to the worst-case scenario, and my body followed suit with a pounding heart, tight chest, and shaky hands. Together, these two conditions created a cycle that was nearly impossible to break.

The Toll of Self-Destructive Habits

I coped the only way I knew how - by numbing myself. Partying, drinking, and drugs became my escape, my way of silencing the chaos in my mind. For a while, it worked. I could forget about the pain and the weight of it all. But as time went on, these habits only made things worse. They drained my energy, strained my relationships, and deepened my sense of hopelessness.

Chapter 2: Escaping Through the Party - The Illusion of MDMA

For years, I used partying as my escape. When the weight of depression and anxiety felt unbearable, I would go out and party taking MDMA - Ecstasy - to temporarily erase everything. The effect was almost magical. When I was up, all my problems disappeared. The pain, the fear, the overwhelming sense of dread - it all melted away. I felt alive, connected, euphoric. For those few hours, I didn’t have to think about my struggles or the emptiness I felt inside. I could forget it all.

And that’s the trap. The moment I felt that relief, I wanted more. Who wouldn’t? The temporary up became my crutch, my way of pushing away the darkness that loomed over me every single day. I’d stay out all night, sometimes for days, chasing that same escape. I’d be surrounded by people, laughter, music, and the excitement of it all, but it was all a façade. As soon as the effect of the MDMA wore off, the reality of my life came rushing back.

I’d party for days, going from one group to the next, pushing my body and mind to the limits. People I had been with the night before would go home, but I’d stay out, ready to join the next group of people heading out. The cycle was endless. One night blurred into the next, and the more I numbed myself, the further I drifted from reality.

But eventually, the consequences of this lifestyle started catching up with me. I could feel my body breaking down, my mind fraying at the edges. The endless cycle of partying, the comedowns, the crashes - it all began to take a toll.

I’d wake up exhausted, both physically and mentally, feeling empty and lost. My body would ache, my mind would be foggy, and the overwhelming sense of despair would flood back in. And yet, despite all that, I’d do it all over again. The escape was too powerful - too tempting: I didn’t know how to live without it.

Then came the turning point. The birth of my son. As soon as he entered the world, I knew my life had to change. For the first time, I had a reason - someone - to fight for. I couldn’t keep living this way. The partying, the drugs, the constant chase for an escape - they weren’t just taking a toll on me; they were taking a toll on my future, my family, and the life I wanted to give my son.

I realised that if I continued down this path, I might not be around to see him grow up. I wanted to be a present, healthy, strong role model. I couldn’t afford to keep hiding from my pain in unhealthy ways. I had to face my struggles head-on so I could be there for him.

The moment I saw my son; I knew I couldn’t keep running anymore. I wasn’t just fighting for myself anymore; I was fighting for him. To break free from this cycle of self-destruction I knew I needed to stop taking drugs recklessly, so that I could be a stable loving presence in his life.

So, I made the decision to stop. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But with my son as my reason, I pushed through the difficult days, the painful comedowns, the emptiness. I knew it was worth it. I had to be better for him.

The road ahead would be long, and the battle would be hard. But that was the moment I knew I had to change.

A New Purpose And A New Challenge

Everything changed when I became a parent. The birth of my son gave me a new sense of purpose - a reason to keep going even when it felt impossible. I knew I had to pull myself together, not just for me, but for him. But life had one more challenge in store for me.

In my son’s first year of life, I experienced a traumatic event that nearly took everything from me. That event shook me to my core, forcing me to take a hard look at my life and the choices I was making. I knew I had to make a change, and I started to put plans in place to rebuild myself. But as I began this process, a new kind of pain entered my life - one that I couldn’t explain or ignore.

Darkness To Strength

Chapter 3: The Wake-Up Call

The first year my son came into this world, I made a promise to myself that I’d change my life - that I’d be there for him and become the man he could look up to. I meant it. But that first year, if I’m honest, I was still spiralling a bit out of control. I was crashing cars, I was all over the place. My head wasn’t clear, and even though I wanted to do better, I didn’t yet have the structure or peace I needed to truly change.

Eventually, I started to pull myself together. For the first time in over five years, I got myself a job - working as a personal trainer. It felt good to finally have direction again. I’d just gathered two clients in my first month, and things were beginning to build. I could feel momentum for the first time in years. It wasn’t just about work - it was about rebuilding who I was.

But then, life tested me in the hardest way.

I had a slip-up. I was under a lot of stress at the time - my living arrangements weren’t good, and I was in a toxic relationship for about three to four years that really impacted my mental health. Sometimes you stay in places like that because of comfortability, but it’s not the right thing to do. I won’t go into detail, out of respect for my son, but I wasn’t in a good place mentally. I just wanted some air, some escape from the pressure, so I went out for a drink - just to clear my head.

That night, I was stabbed nine times. It happened so fast I didn’t even have time to think - just chaos, fear, and shock. I remember hitting the ground and feeling the warmth of blood leaving my body. I could feel life slipping away, and in that moment, everything became clear.

All I could think about in the ambulance was my son. The thought that I might never see him grow, never hear him laugh again - that was the only thing in my mind. I was finally starting to turn my life around, finally doing something positive, and suddenly I was fighting for my life. The timing of it all hit me deeply - it was as if the universe was asking me how badly I wanted to live.

The doctors said the wounds were mostly superficial, but the blood loss was heavy. I needed a transfusion to pull through. What they didn’t tell me straight away was that one of the stab wounds had caused internal damage. I had to have an operation to fix something in my abdominal area. They told me I was close to needing a bag to poo out of for the rest of my life.

When they explained the risks, they said they might need to slice me open completely - the kind of cut that leaves that big scar straight down the middle of the stomach. I told them I didn’t want that. Not because I was scared, but because I’m a personal trainer - I care about my body, about my physique. I’d worked hard for it, and I didn’t want a scar like that running through me. But they told me straight up: “If we don’t do this, you’ll probably die.”

So of course, I had to let them do it.

When I woke up, I looked down expecting to see that scar, but it wasn’t there. They managed to do it with keyhole surgery. I was lucky - very lucky.

Physically I recovered, but mentally something changed forever. That experience stripped everything down to what truly mattered. It woke me up.

I’d been saying I was going to sort myself out for years, but that night forced me to see how fragile life really is. I promised myself that if I made it through, I’d never take another day for granted.

When I finally opened my eyes in that hospital bed, my first thought was gratitude. Gratitude that I was still here. Gratitude that I’d get to see my son again. That moment became the start of everything that came after - my healing, my purpose, and Sharpe Fitness itself. It was the day my old life ended and my new one began.

Fibromyalgia: A Silent Companion and Managing Chronic Pain

The pain started as small aches and stiffness but soon became more persistent and widespread. At first, I assumed it was just stress or exhaustion from everything I was dealing with. However, as the pain continued to escalate and become more debilitating, I sought medical advice. After months of testing, I was eventually diagnosed with fibromyalgia - a condition known for causing chronic pain, fatigue, and cognitive issues.

The diagnosis was both a relief and a setback. It provided an explanation for what I had been feeling, but it also added a new layer of complexity to my already difficult journey. I now had to manage not just the mental toll of depression and anxiety but also the physical burden of chronic pain.

Fibromyalgia became my silent companion - an ever-present force that made even the simplest tasks seem impossible. The pain was everywhere: in my joints, muscles, and even in my mind. On good days, I could ignore it, but on bad days, it completely debilitated me. I couldn’t carry groceries, get out of bed, or even focus on my work without feeling overwhelmed by the pain. The worst part was the unpredictability - just when I thought I was improving, a flare-up would set me back, making everything seem futile.

But as with my battle with depression and anxiety, I refused to give up. I knew I had to find a way to manage the physical and mental toll of fibromyalgia, to heal my body and mind so that I could be the father my son deserved. It was clear that my recovery would require a comprehensive approach - one that addressed both the mental and physical challenges I faced.

Chapter 4: The Turning Point - A Long Battle with Depression and Anxiety

The first signs of depression and anxiety appeared years ago, creeping into my life like an invisible weight. What started as a general sense of unease spiralled into a constant cycle of extreme panic attacks, each one leaving me convinced I was having a heart attack. Nearly every day, I found myself in a state of terror, trapped in my own body and mind.

I turned to the NHS for help, seeking answers and relief. But instead of solutions, I found myself caught in a system that relied heavily on medications. Over the years, I was prescribed nearly every medication imaginable, including diazepam (Valium). They handed these pills out like sweets, and before I knew it, I was hooked.

The medications didn’t solve the problem. If anything, they made things worse. Side effects like weight gain, brain fog, and mood swings piled on top of my existing struggles. It was as if I was being buried alive under a mountain of solutions that masked the real issues but never addressed them. Eventually, I reached a breaking point and became disconnected - a condition known as depersonalization. I felt like a shell of myself, floating through life but never really present.

The Devil in the Pill - Breaking Free from Valium

For years, I was trapped in a cycle of dependency that I couldn’t break free from. Valium had become my crutch, my escape from the overwhelming anxiety and stress that had consumed me. But what was supposed to be a temporary solution - a way to calm my nerves - became a prison of its own. I had been prescribed Valium for far longer than I should have. Doctors had told me it was only meant to be a short-term solution, a month at most. But over the years, I became hooked, relying on it just to feel normal.

When I decided I had had enough and began the process of tapering off, I had no idea what I was in for. I followed the advice I was given - gradually weaning off the pills, step by step. But every night, it felt like I was suffocating. The withdrawal symptoms were brutal, relentless. As soon as I would fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, I’d wake up gasping for air, unable to breathe, my chest tight, my body frozen in panic. It was as if my body was screaming for the Valium that had been a part of me for so long, the drug that I had become physically dependent on.

The feeling was horrific. Each night, I would doze off from sheer fatigue, only to be jolted awake in the most terrifying way - heart racing, lungs constricted, unable to take a full breath. I would struggle to get air in, sometimes feeling like I was suffocating, gasping for breath as if the weight of the world was pressing on my chest. This would happen again and again, 20, 30 times a night.

At times, I would stumble out of bed, knees buckling beneath me, desperate to get air, but too exhausted to do anything about it. I’d be gasping, trembling, dizzy from the lack of sleep, and I knew I had to do something. But what? The only relief was taking another Valium. Just one more. Just enough to make the withdrawal stop, to stop feeling like I was going to die. It was a vicious cycle, and I knew it wasn’t healthy, but in the middle of the night, in the grip of withdrawal, it felt like the only option.

I had heard stories from others online who had gone through similar struggles with Valium, many of them unable to break free because the withdrawal symptoms were so extreme. They couldn’t make it through. I was on these pills much longer than anyone should have been - years, in fact. And yet, I was determined to stop.

There came a night when I finally hit my breaking point. I remember thinking, ‘It feels like I'm going to suffocate’, but something inside me said, ‘I can’t keep doing this. I have to stop’. It was the hardest decision I had ever made. I knew the night ahead would be excruciating, but I was done. So, I took a deep breath, committed to seeing it through, and let the withdrawals run their course.

It was a long, brutal night. But somehow, I made it through. And the next night was slightly better. Slowly, the withdrawals began to fade, and I started to breathe again - both literally and metaphorically. The suffocating grip of the drug finally started to loosen, and I was free.

Free from the clutches of Valium, free from the constant need to escape myself.

It was a long road, but I made it. And thank God, I am medication-free today. The battle was one of the toughest I’ve ever faced, but breaking free from Valium was one of the most liberating decisions of my life. The road to recovery wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Taking Matters Into My Own Hands

Realising the medications weren’t the answer, I began my own search for healing. Over the years, I tried everything I could find:

Hypnosis and Reiki

Hundreds of supplements

Talking therapies, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation)

Ketamine infusions

Countless other methods I’ve lost track of

Nothing seemed to work. But despite the frustration and disappointment, I refused to give up.

A New Approach: Diet

After years of trial and error, I started coming across influencers and experts who claimed that diet, exercise, and natural methods could help manage these symptoms. A family friend, Johnny ‘Bang’ Riley, who specialised in diet, nutrition, and training, even offered me the chance to stay with him in Holland to learn from him. At the time, I wasn’t ready, so I declined.

Instead, I continued my research and began experimenting with natural approaches on my own. I discovered practices like breathwork, cold baths, and intense training paired with meditation. These routines gave me small wins - enough to build my confidence and belief that natural methods could work.

Soon after, I revisited Johnny’s offer and flew to Holland to learn from him. That experience opened my eyes to the power of diet and lifestyle changes. I delved into the ketogenic and carnivore diets, learning how to become fat-adapted and fuel my body in ways that reduced inflammation and improved mental clarity.

Chapter 5: Discovering Breathwork

It was a random encounter in the sauna that changed everything for me. I’ve been using the sauna 2-3 times a week for its many benefits, but on this particular day, I overheard someone talking about holistic treatments. Naturally, I joined the conversation and shared my ongoing struggle with chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. The person I spoke to asked if I had ever tried breathwork. At first, I brushed it off, thinking, ‘What could that possibly do for me? I breathe every day.’ I didn’t think much more of it.

Later that evening, completely by chance, I saw something on social media about breathwork. Curious, I decided to look into it further. What I discovered completely blew me away. I hadn’t realised the power of breathwork.

I gave it a try the next morning. I followed a simple guided breathwork session - just 3-4 rounds - and within minutes, I felt a shift. My brain fog vanished, the fatigue that had weighed me down all morning melted away, and my body felt more energised. My mood lifted, and I suddenly felt motivated for the day ahead. The sluggishness that had been a constant companion for so long was gone.

It was like a switch had flipped, and for the first time in a long while, I felt clarity, energy, and hope.

From that moment on, breathwork became an essential part of my daily routine. I do it first thing every morning, and I can honestly say that without it, I wouldn’t be able to get through the day or do the things my body needs to heal. The instant benefits of breathwork have been undeniable. It helps me shake off the heaviness of chronic pain, anxiety, and fatigue, and gives me the energy to move forward.

It’s amazing how something as simple as breathing, when done intentionally and with focus, can have such a profound impact on both mind and body. Breathwork has truly become one of the most powerful tools in my healing journey, and I now rely on it daily to reset my nervous system, improve my mood, and set me up for success.

If you’re struggling with brain fog, fatigue, or just need to find a way to energise your body and mind, I encourage you to give breathwork a try. It’s a simple practice, but the results are anything but ordinary.

I’ll share the link to the YouTube video I use for my breathwork practice below, in case you want to try it for yourself.

Breathwork Video

Chapter 6: A Private Journey of Trial and Error

For months, I searched for relief from chronic pain, spending money on countless treatments that promised healing but never delivered. From fasting for days to seeing osteopaths, trying sound healing frequencies, deep tissue massages, acupuncture, cupping therapy, and even advanced options like red light therapy and oxygen chambers - nothing worked. Each time I tried something new, I’d get a glimmer of hope, only to be disappointed when it didn’t last.

Money no longer mattered; nothing felt worthwhile if I couldn’t function. The pain had become my reality, and I was losing hope. But I couldn’t give up - I had to find something that worked.

Then, one day, while talking with a friend about my journey, he mentioned his mother, Charmayne, a sports therapist. I was sceptical. After everything I’d tried, what could one more treatment do? But I was at the end of my rope, so I decided to give it a try.

From the moment I met Charmayne, I knew she was different. She listened in a way no one else had, finishing my sentences and explaining things about my body that I hadn’t even mentioned. She specialised in treating trigger points, a painful but effective therapy. Week after week, I noticed gradual improvements - my pain became more manageable, and I started to feel more functional.

What truly set Charmayne apart wasn’t just her hands-on treatments - it was her holistic approach. She didn’t just treat my body; she acted as a therapist, offering emotional support and teaching me how to manage my pain outside of our sessions. With her guidance, I felt empowered to take charge of my own healing.

After months of working together, I finally experienced the progress I’d been searching for. Charmayne didn’t just give me temporary relief - she gave me the tools to heal, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful.

If you’re struggling with chronic pain or other health challenges, I highly recommend reaching out to Charmayne. I’ll provide her contact details below for anyone who feels she might be able to help.

Phone: 07916765052

Email: char_sportsrehab@yahoo.co.uk

Chapter 7: The Power of the Acupressure Mat - A Simple Yet Effective Tool for Healing

As I became more familiar with the concept of trigger points through my work with Charmayne, I started to understand just how crucial it was to release tension from these tight spots in my muscles. During one of our sessions, I jokingly said to Charmayne, "Don’t they just have a machine or something that can hit all the trigger points at once?" I was half-laughing but also somewhat serious. The process of getting ground to each trigger point by hand was intense and sometimes felt like it took forever.

Charmayne laughed and said, "There’s no shortcut to healing - it takes time and focus." While she was right, the idea of a machine that could target all my trigger points at once stayed with me. I thought, “If only something like that existed - just a quick, one-time fix to all this pain.”

Then, by chance, I remembered seeing ads for acupressure mats. I had heard people rave about their benefits but hadn’t really taken them seriously. The thought of lying on a mat covered with tiny spikes seemed uncomfortable at best. But when I mentioned this idea to Charmayne, she agreed that it could be a useful addition to my healing routine. It was a way to target multiple points of tension at once, something that could work alongside her treatment. Without wasting any time, I ordered one.

When the acupressure mat arrived, I was eager to see if it could really make a difference. After so many treatments and therapies, I was thrilled to find something that was simple, affordable, and could be used in the comfort of my own home. The mat had thousands of small spikes designed to stimulate pressure points and promote relaxation. At first, the sensation was intense, but after just a few minutes, I began to feel the tension in my muscles release. It felt like a deep, therapeutic massage, and I started to realise how effective it was.

What amazed me the most was how well the mat worked in conjunction with Charmayne’s trigger point therapy. While her treatments were specific and focused on individual problem areas, the acupressure mat allowed me to target multiple points of tension at once. It helped me maintain the progress I was making between sessions and provided relief on the days I couldn’t see her.

I remember joking with Charmayne again, saying, “Well, I guess this acupressure mat is the closest I’ll get to my imaginary machine that hits all the trigger points at once!” And while it wasn’t the magical tool I’d imagined; it was the closest thing to it - and it was incredibly effective.

It quickly became a part of my daily routine. Whether I was using it in the morning or before bed, the mat gave me the relief I needed to manage my pain and muscle tension, and I could use it whenever I needed. It was simple, convenient, and affordable - everything I had been searching for.

If you’re dealing with chronic pain, muscle tension, or trigger points, I highly recommend giving the acupressure mat a try. It’s a great complement to other therapies, and it’s something you can use every day at home to help release tension and ease discomfort.

I’ve included a link below where you can purchase your own acupressure mat. If you’re ready to try it for yourself, I think you’ll find it as beneficial as I have.

Click to view Acupressure mat

Chapter 8: The Power of Shilajit - A Natural Resin for Healing

As I continued my journey towards healing, I kept hearing more and more about Shilajit, a natural resin found in the Himalayan mountains. This powerful substance had been used for thousands of years in traditional medicine, yet it was suddenly getting a lot of attention in wellness circles. People were claiming that Shilajit could help with everything from boosting energy and improving mental clarity to managing chronic pain and even supporting emotional well-being. Naturally, I was curious.

What caught my attention was the fact that Shilajit wasn’t just some fad; it had a long history of being used for its health benefits. Still, as with anything popular, there was a lot of noise surrounding it. I started researching, only to find a troubling trend: many companies were jumping on the Shilajit bandwagon, selling products that didn’t go through the proper purification process. They were taking shortcuts to get their product on the market quickly, sacrificing quality for profit. This left me unsure of who to trust, and the last thing I wanted was to put toxins or impurities into my body.

Then, a thought crossed my mind. I remembered my friend, Johnny ‘Bang’ Riley, whom I had stayed with in Holland during my earlier healing journey. Johnny had always been a reliable source of information when it came to health and wellness, and I trusted him completely. As it turned out, Johnny’s team actually harvested their own Shilajit, and he took it every day as part of his routine. This immediately put my mind at ease. I knew that if Johnny trusted this source, then it was something I could trust too. After all, he was all about promoting health and well-being, not quick profits.

Johnny was kind enough to get me some Shilajit from his source, and I was amazed at the results. Almost immediately, I felt a noticeable shift in my energy levels. My chronic fatigue, which had been an ongoing issue, began to lift. It wasn’t a dramatic, overnight transformation, but rather a steady improvement that I could feel. The fatigue that had been weighing me down for years started to fade, and I began to experience sustained energy throughout the day. This was a game-changer for me, as it helped me break through the fog that had been holding me back.

As I continued to use Shilajit, I began to realise just how much it was helping me in various aspects of my health. My mental clarity improved, my physical pain seemed more manageable, and my overall sense of well-being increased. I felt more balanced, grounded, and able to handle the daily challenges that came my way.

After some time, I began to consider a new idea - why not share this with others? I had found something that truly worked for me, and I was grateful to Johnny for introducing me to it. So, with Johnny's support, I decided to bring Shilajit to a wider audience. This led me to create my own branded product - Sharpe Fitness Shilajit. It’s a product I can stand behind because I trust the source, the quality, and the process. It’s a product that has helped me, and I want others to experience its benefits as well.

If you’re curious about Shilajit and want to see if it can support your journey, I’ve made it available for purchase on my website. I’m grateful for Johnny’s guidance and for the healing I’ve experienced through this natural resin, and I hope it can help you as much as it’s helped me.

You can find the link to my website below to purchase your own Sharpe Fitness Shilajit. I encourage you to give it a try and see how it works for you on your path to healing.

Click to view Shilajit

Chapter 9: The Power of Cold Showers

I've been taking cold showers for a few years now, and honestly, I can't remember the last time I left the house without having one. It's become such a routine that I don't even think twice about it anymore.

If I tell someone who hasn't experienced it what it's like, they usually look at me with disbelief. They just don't understand until they try it themselves. But once they do, they often realise exactly what I mean.

To me, a cold shower is like a morning coffee without the jitters. The second I step into the cold water; it shocks my system and wakes me up out of any slump I may have been in. It’s like my body immediately switches gears, and I'm fully alert and ready to take on the day. The immediate effect is a boost in mood, and I feel completely revitalised. I don't need a strong cup of coffee to kickstart my morning anymore - the cold shower does it for me.

The benefits of cold showers go beyond just waking me up. Cold exposure has been shown to release ‘feel-good’ chemicals, like endorphins, that boost mood and improve mental clarity. It’s not just a physical jolt; it’s a mental one too.

Cold showers also play a huge role in managing my chronic pain and fatigue. As someone dealing with fibromyalgia, I’ve found that the cold water helps reduce inflammation and ease the aches that come with it. The shock to the system gets my blood circulating better, which helps with muscle recovery and reduces stiffness.

Chapter 10: Trauma

As I started to understand trauma, I began to realise that I had been carrying it for most of my life. Some of it came from childhood. My parents done the best they could, and done very well. But like many people, they also had their own traumas. Sometimes these things are unknowingly passed down - not intentionally, but through behaviour, energy, and the way we cope. You can never work on something if you don’t even know it’s there. For years, I wasn’t aware. I just thought I was escaping - through drugs, through distractions, through always being on the move.

It wasn’t until I was forced to face my trauma from the stabbing that I started to truly see the bigger picture. That experience broke me open and made me look deeper. It’s been a long, long journey - years of trying to understand my body, my emotions, and my mind. One of the most important parts of that journey was learning about the nervous system and how it connects to trauma. I spent six months to a year researching, studying, and experimenting - trying to understand myself. We’re all wired differently. Our brains don’t work the same, and our thoughts don’t flow in the same way. I had to learn my own mind.

I’ll talk about my ADHD later on in the book - how I’ve learnt not to demonise it, but to use it as a superpower. But before I could get there, I had to understand what trauma had done to me. After the stabbing, I didn’t realise what was happening inside my head. My mind was always racing - constantly planning, replaying, imagining every possible scenario. Whether it was picturing where I’d go, or running through conversations that hadn’t even happened yet - I was always in my head.

It took years of therapy, reflection, and persistence to understand that this was my brain trying to protect me. It believed that by planning out everything, it could stop anything bad from happening again. But it couldn’t - it just kept me stuck in a loop of fear, stress, and survival. That’s the nature of trauma and PTSD. The brain isn’t broken - it’s just overprotective.

The reason your body scans like this - always alert, always on edge - is because it still believes you’re unsafe, even when the event is long over. That’s the fight-or-flight response. Your brain and body don’t know the danger has passed, so they stay on guard. It takes time to retrain your brain, to create new pathways. That process is about teaching your mind and body that you are safe now.

Part of how I did this was through microdosing mushrooms. The microdosing was amazing - I don’t think I could have done it without them. They didn’t do the work for me, but they opened the gateway for me to be able to work. My mind had been in such a fog, such a constant buzz, that I couldn’t focus or connect. The mushrooms quietened my mind enough for me to meditate, reflect, and truly understand myself. They were the bridge that allowed me to heal.

To reteach the brain safety, you have to stay present and aware of your body’s sensations. When anxiety or panic comes up, instead of running from it like I always used to, I learnt to sit with it. To feel it. To show myself that there was nothing to be afraid of. Over time, the body starts to understand that you’re no longer in danger - that you’re safe now. That’s when healing truly begins.

But being disconnected also comes with a price. When you’re living in survival mode for so long, you become numb. For me, that was one of the hardest things to accept. Even though I loved my son to bits, I felt disconnected - from him, from my family, and from my friends. My emotions were flat, blunt, almost shut off. Deep down I knew that if it wasn’t for my son, I probably never would have fixed it. But I couldn’t accept that. I knew my son needed me to connect. We needed that bond for both of us to have a good life - for me to be the father he deserves.

He’s the reason I’ve done all this. He’s the reason I refused to give up, even when I didn’t believe I could heal. Since the stabbing, I’ve been consistently working every single day - no fun time, no enjoyment, just work. Like it’s a chore. Every day, no days off, for over two years. It’s been pure trial and error. Maybe if you’re going through something similar and you start to understand what’s really happening sooner, it might not take you as long. But for me, it’s been relentless. Every single day has been about getting out of fight-or-flight, calming my nervous system, and slowly rebuilding who I am.

The mushrooms and meditation helped me tremendously. But before any of that could work, I had to first calm my nervous system - to come off fight-or-flight. Because for two years after the stabbing, that’s exactly how I was living. Constantly on edge, constantly tense, constantly scanning for danger.

Once I began to come down from that state, that’s when everything started to change. I could finally feel again. I could connect. And slowly, I started to become the version of myself that my son could truly grow up with - present, grounded, and alive.

This has taken patience, trust, and a lot of falling down and getting back up. But I know I’m almost there. I can feel it. Not long now - I’ll be fully healed.

Chapter 11: Mushrooms

When I first took mushrooms a few years ago, nothing really happened. Sometimes, when I took a stronger microdose, I felt a bit high, but there was never any real work being done. I would just take them, feel them, and go out. I never used them for healing - I didn’t know how.

Later, when I started learning about myself - about trauma, the nervous system, and healing - I began to understand that you can’t just take mushrooms and expect change. You have to work with them.

When I started again, I approached them differently. I’d begin with a round of breathwork to calm myself first. Then I would take a microdose of mushrooms and simply lay there and meditate. When I say meditate, I don’t mean following a guide - I mean just being present, maybe listening to music, soft piano, something gentle. I’d lay there and try my best not to think, just to be.

Mushrooms can bring up a lot of emotions. That’s part of the process. When this happens, you have to sit with it and remind yourself: I am safe right now. I am safe here. I am safe now. Instead of panicking or running from the feeling, I learnt to recognise that nothing bad could happen. I was at home, in a safe space, and I was okay. You have to keep reminding yourself of that truth.

It took a long time for me to get real breakthroughs. But because I was doing this for my son, giving up was never an option. I didn’t take them every day - you build tolerance that way. I’d take them one day, then have a couple of days off, then take them again. Over time, I found my own rhythm. This was my personal way - it might not be the same for everyone.

Sometimes the first day wouldn’t do much. The second day I’d start to feel more present. And then by the third day, I’d feel real progress. After that, I’d stop - because it’s in the following days, when you don’t take them, that the real rewiring happens. That’s called neuroplasticity - the brain forming new pathways and new ways of responding.

When I started to understand neuroplasticity, I realised the importance of letting go of expectations. That’s something that holds a lot of people back. We often think, “Why am I not feeling better yet?” or “Last time was stronger - this isn’t working.” That’s the wrong mindset. Healing isn’t something you can measure daily. I learnt to stop overthinking, to stop comparing, to stop ruminating. Whatever happened that day, happened. Move on. Don’t analyse it. Mushrooms work in the background. You might not always feel them - but they’re doing their work.

As I started getting in touch with my body again through this process, I noticed something powerful. All the pains from my fibromyalgia were still there - but they began to soften. They started to fade into the background. The more connected I became to my body, the more I could feel where the pain truly was and why it was there.

I realised that when I was doing my mobility and stretching, which I do about three times a week, I could feel exactly where I needed to work. I was in tune with my body again. I started feeling calmness in my body for the first time in years.

Before, my muscles were constantly tight - all the time. My fascia, the connective tissue that wraps around and links all the muscles, bones, and organs in the body, was wound up like a spring because my brain believed I was still in danger. That’s the fight-or-flight response. My body was stuck in survival mode, ready to fight or run. So no matter how much I stretched or moved, it didn’t matter - my brain still believed it needed to protect me. It kept everything tight, tense, and alert. That constant tension - 24/7 - is what caused pain all over my body.

But as I started calming my nervous system and reconnecting with my body, things began to release. My body started to trust me again. The brain and body began to communicate properly. As they reconnected, my system realised that I was safe now. There was no need to keep me on high alert. My muscles slowly began to let go.

This isn’t an overnight process - it takes time, awareness, and patience. But I started noticing real differences. I could feel the progress inside me. I knew I was heading in the right direction, even if it wasn’t all the way there yet. That’s how this works - little by little, your brain and body relearn safety. And when they do, true healing begins.

After many, many times working with the mushrooms, I began to discover something even deeper - how to connect with my emotions. At first, this didn’t work at all. I would try to go back to good memories from my past, but nothing came. It was like there was a wall between me and my emotions. I was numb. I couldn’t access a single feeling.

But the key was consistency. I kept trying - week after week, month after month - and slowly, things began to change. I started getting tiny glimpses of old emotions. For example, I’d remember a good Christmas from when I was a kid, and suddenly I’d feel that same warm emotion, that same happiness. That was it - that meant I’d connected with an emotion again.

Each time I did it, the connection grew stronger. I started to relive those moments as me - not as someone watching my life from a distance. Because that’s what depersonalisation feels like: like living life behind a glass wall, watching yourself but never feeling it. Through the mushrooms, I started to break that wall. I was reconnecting with myself.

I also found that music could take this even further. Music is powerful - it calms the nervous system and sends thousands of signals through the body. So I’d play a song from my past, something I used to love as a teenager or a kid, and just listen. I wouldn’t think or analyse - I’d just feel. And slowly, I’d start to get that same feeling again - that’s nostalgia.

Nostalgia is when a memory brings back the feeling of how things used to be - when you can actually feel it again, not just think about it. When I started getting that again, it gave me hope. It meant I was finally reconnecting with my emotions, with my memories, with myself.

And once that happened, I knew it was working. I knew I was on the right path. For the first time, I wasn’t just existing - I was living again.

Chapter 12: Meditation

Meditation, I honestly believe, is the most powerful thing out there for healing - it’s what truly gets the job done. But it’s not easy. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest things to learn how to do properly.

I can completely understand why people give up on it. It takes a long time. And the only reason I never gave up was because I had to do this - for my son, and for myself. That’s probably the only reason I’ve reached a point where I can say I actually know how to meditate now - not just lying there with a head full of thoughts.

For me, meditation was extremely difficult. I was completely disconnected from my body. It took over a year - closer to two - just to truly start learning it. Some people might pick it up easily, but with my trauma, my racing thoughts, and the level of disconnection I had, it was an extremely long and hard process.

My mind was constantly ruminating - playing out scenarios, judging everything, and looping the same thoughts. But the key to meditation is to not judge. So for me, it felt nearly impossible. Still, I kept practising. Day after day. Over and over. And with the help of the mushrooms, eventually I got there.

Everything I’m explaining here came from my own experience. No one guided me. It was all through my own research and retaining information. That part wasn’t easy either, because my brain used to be full of fog. It was hard to concentrate or remember anything. But as I started to heal, that changed. I began to retain information and remember things clearly again - something I’ll talk more about later when I get into ADHD.

When I started meditation, the first method I used was something called a body scan. I would lie down and try to put my awareness on different parts of my body. It sounds simple, but for me, it wasn’t. If you haven’t been through what I have, it might not make sense - but trauma can make even the simplest things incredibly hard.

So I’d lie there and focus on my feet. Within seconds, I’d drift straight back into my head - thinking about tomorrow, thinking about what I had to do, thinking about anything but the present. It wasn’t something I could control. My mind just wouldn’t stop. I’d pull myself back to my feet again, then back into my thoughts, then back to my knees, then gone again.

But I never gave up. After around six months of doing this daily, I started to notice small changes. I could stay focused for slightly longer. I was still getting interrupted by thoughts, but I was slowly learning to bring myself back.

When you manage to hold your awareness on a part of your body, even for a few seconds, you’re in the present moment. That’s what meditation really is - awareness in the present. But in the beginning, I’d lose it in milliseconds. My brain would snap back to thinking automatically.

So I kept going, again and again, every single day. Over time, those milliseconds became seconds. Then longer. Then minutes. And the best way to explain this is - it’s like training a muscle.

When you first start going to the gym, you’re weak. You lift something and it feels impossible. But when you keep going, that muscle grows stronger. The brain is exactly the same. The more you practise meditation, the stronger that “muscle” becomes. So when you go to do it the next day, it’s easier. It’s just like picking up a heavier weight and realising you’ve built strength.

Laying in the present moment is the key. That’s what meditation really is - staying aware of what is right now.

As I started getting better at body scanning, something amazing began to happen - I didn’t need to do it anymore. I could simply lie there without having to put my attention on any specific part of my body. I could just be.

I didn’t need to think about focusing on my feet or my legs anymore. I could just rest there in peace, without my mind running wild or pulling me into negativity. I could finally sit with myself and simply exist. That’s what meditation is really about - just being able to be. To sit with yourself, to feel, and to stay present.

That’s what it means to be in the present moment.

Over time, I started to learn how to do this properly. I noticed that when I was truly meditating, I lost track of time completely. That’s how you know you’re doing it right - when time disappears. Sometimes I’d come out of meditation and realise I’d been laying there for an hour, and it would shock me. I couldn’t believe I’d managed that, because when I first started, I could barely sit still for more than a few minutes.

In the beginning, I had to force myself to meditate for 30 to 40 minutes, and my brain would constantly tell me to stop. I’d get agitated and restless. But I refused to give in. I pushed through the discomfort. And eventually, that restlessness turned into peace.

It stopped feeling like a battle and started to feel calm. It was peaceful - almost like I was just resting. And that’s when I knew I was doing it correctly. That’s when I realised I was making a real breakthrough with meditation.

They say that to rewire your brain can take around 30 to 45 minutes of meditation - and I truly believe that. That’s why I stuck with it. Even on the days when I didn’t want to do it, or the days I might have skipped one or two sessions, I always came back. Because I knew exactly where I wanted to be.

During that time, I was living in a hostel. It was just a small room - not really a home. But I didn’t mind. I told myself, while I’m here, this is my work zone. I didn’t need comfort or relaxation - I needed to heal. That was my focus. My plan was simple: by the time I leave this hostel and move into my own place with my son, I’ll be the best version of myself.

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing - every single day. No days off. Just work.

I also want to mention something that plays a massive role in all of this - cortisol.

Cortisol is the body’s main stress hormone. Mine was extremely high for years. High cortisol keeps you in a constant state of tension and alertness - fight or flight. It makes it nearly impossible to relax, sleep properly, or think clearly.

Everything I’ve done - meditation, cold baths, breathwork - all of it helps to reduce cortisol. When your cortisol comes down, your body can finally rest. Your mind starts to calm. That’s when healing happens.

If you’re going to start this journey yourself, just know - I had a lot of bad days. I had days where I truly thought it wasn’t working, and you probably will too. But that’s part of the process. The most important thing you can do is continue.

As you read my story, I just want you to know - it wasn’t all smooth. Some parts may sound that way, but behind every step forward were days of struggle, doubt, and frustration. What matters most is that I kept going. And if you do the same, you’ll get there too.

Chapter 13: EMDR

As I started getting more in tune with myself through meditation, learning to calm my thoughts and connect with my emotions, I knew it was time to take the next step in my healing journey - EMDR therapy.

I had already done a lot of research on EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It’s a form of therapy designed to help people process trauma that hasn’t yet been properly processed by the brain.

In simple terms, EMDR works by stimulating both sides of the brain while you focus on a traumatic memory or difficult emotion. This is often done through sound — a bleeping noise that alternates from your left ear to your right through headphones - or through a light or object moving from side to side that your eyes follow.

The reason it works is because trauma gets “stuck” in the part of the brain that processes emotion - the right side - while the logical left side can’t make sense of it. The back-and-forth stimulation helps both sides of the brain communicate and process that stuck memory. Once it’s processed, it moves into the past, where it belongs, instead of replaying in your body and emotions every day.

I left EMDR until last for a reason - because I knew I wasn’t ready before. When I was still constantly stuck in my head, filled with racing thoughts and disconnected from my body, I knew it wouldn’t have worked. It would have just gone in one ear and out the other.

So I waited until I could create calmness within, until I could truly sit in the present moment. I knew when the time was right because I could finally feel my emotions and stay grounded with them.

When I finally began EMDR, I was nervous but ready. My therapist, Jill Hanney, guided me through the process. What you do in EMDR is bring to mind something that triggers those traumatic emotions - that fear, panic, or sadness. Naturally, when someone with PTSD or trauma does this, all those horrible sensations rise up - the very ones we’ve spent years trying to bury or run away from.

But this time, instead of running, you stay with it. You let it come up, while the sound or light moves from side to side. That’s what begins to unlock the trauma. It helps your brain process what it couldn’t process before.

I started going to EMDR once a week. In the beginning, I didn’t notice much. The first few sessions felt like nothing was happening. But by the third or fourth session, everything began to shift. Emotions started to rise up from deep within - emotions I hadn’t felt in years.

At first, it was scary. I felt strange sensations in my body and waves of emotion that almost felt like a panic attack. But Jill helped me understand what was really happening. She explained that these weren’t panic or fear - these were my real emotions surfacing, the ones that had been buried for years.

Because when you go through trauma, especially repeatedly, your brain often mislabels emotions. It can mistake sadness, grief, or vulnerability as danger - so it shuts them off and stores them as fear.

So when these emotions started coming back, my brain first interpreted them as fear. But I knew better this time. Instead of pushing them away, I embraced them. I allowed them to come up.

And that’s when the real breakthrough happened.

During one session, as I followed the beeping sound from left to right, I started remembering childhood moments - things I hadn’t thought about in years. Suddenly, I felt emotion. My eyes welled up, and for the first time in a very long time, I cried. It was a strange, powerful feeling - like something inside me was finally releasing.

Jill smiled and said, “That’s it. That’s processing. You’re doing it.”

She explained that this is what releasing trauma looks like - unlocking buried emotions and letting them move through you instead of staying trapped. Those tears weren’t weakness - they were a sign that I was healing.

Since then, EMDR has helped me massively. Each session feels like another layer being lifted. It’s helping me put the past where it belongs - behind me - instead of letting it control my present.

EMDR isn’t something to rush into. You need to be ready. You’ll know when the time comes - when you’ve built the emotional strength, presence, and understanding of yourself to handle what comes up.

It’s not an easy process, but it’s one of the most freeing experiences I’ve ever had. For me, it’s been the final piece of the puzzle - the part that allowed everything I’d learned before to come together.

If you feel that Jill Hanney could help you, or you’d like to try her therapy, you will find her contact details at the end of this book.

Chapter 14: ADHD

My journey with ADHD has been a roller coaster.

I’ve always been hyper, wild, and different. The way I think and do things has never been the same as most people - I’ve always had my own way of figuring things out. Back in the day, society didn’t really understand ADHD. People would tell you you’re doing things wrong or that there’s a “correct” way to do something.

But the truth is, there isn’t one correct way. You have to do things in the way your brain works - the way that works for you. And now, in this day and age, people are finally learning more about ADHD and understanding that people’s minds simply work differently.

For years, I demonised my ADHD. I saw it as something that made me unorganised, messy, and unreliable - always starting things and never finishing them. My mind was constantly racing.

It was actually Charmayne, my trigger point therapist, who first told me, “You can use ADHD as a superpower.” At the time, it went straight over my head. I didn’t understand what she meant - not until much later.

When I was going through trauma, depression, and anxiety, my ADHD made everything worse. I couldn’t retain information or hold focus for more than a few seconds. If you gave me a shopping list with three things - apples, bananas, and grapes - I’d walk to the shop and forget one of them. Even if I tried to repeat it in my head, it just wouldn’t stick.

My short-term memory was foggy. My mind was full of noise - like a radio with too many stations playing at once. I’d start one task, then another, and suddenly I’d be thinking about something completely different.

When I started working as a personal trainer, that fog became a real problem. Trying to write workout plans or focus on clients was difficult. I’d have great ideas, but I couldn’t stay on track long enough to finish them. My brain just jumped all over the place.

But like I’ve said before - knowledge is power. Once you understand something, you can start to work on it.

As I started working through meditation, mushrooms, EMDR, and everything else I’d been doing to clear my mind and heal my traumas, my head slowly started to change. The fog began to lift. I started to feel sharper, more focused. I began to train my brain to hold attention again - something I hadn’t done in years.

Slowly, I began to notice something amazing. The same energy that once scattered me all over the place was now driving me forward. My ADHD wasn’t a curse anymore - it was becoming my superpower.

Now, I’m doing things I never thought I could do. I train every single day - HIIT training, cardio, weights, mobility, stretching. I meditate for 30 to 45 minutes, do breathwork for 20 to 30 minutes, take cold showers daily, and even go to Hackney Wick two or three times a week for ice plunges.

I run my own business - Sharpe Fitness - selling my Shilajit online, creating content for my brand, editing videos, writing this book, and planning out every detail of my vision. Even when I work with web designers, I’m spotting errors and coming up with new ideas that I never would’ve thought of before.

I’m juggling multiple things every day - six social media accounts, my business, my health, and my therapy. On top of that, I’m doing EMDR therapy, trigger point therapy, and training for HYROX, which is one of the toughest fitness races out there - an hour and a half of straight intensity.

And somehow, I’m doing all this while fasting every day from 5pm to 9pm, eating clean, and staying consistent.

On top of all of that, I’m bringing up my son. He stays with me three days a week, and being a full hands-on dad, I’m unrecognisable.

Before, just one of these things would’ve overwhelmed me. I would’ve given up. Now I’m handling it all - not with stress, but with drive.

That’s what I mean when I say ADHD can be a superpower. It’s energy - raw energy - and when you learn how to channel it, it’s unstoppable. My mind is focused, creative, full of ideas, and constantly moving.

I’ve learned to use it the right way. This isn’t chaos anymore - it’s power, direction, and purpose.

This is what happens when you stop fighting who you are and start understanding yourself.

Chapter 15: The Power of Intensity Training

For years, I stuck with weight training, isolating muscle groups and focusing on building strength and mass. While it gave me muscle definition, I realised I was missing a key aspect of fitness: functional movement. The body isn’t designed to work in isolation - it’s meant to move as a whole. This realisation came after reconnecting with old friends on different paths and learning from Johnny in Holland, who introduced me to a new fitness approach: intensity functional training.

Pushing My Body to the Limit

Intensity functional training is all about pushing your body to its maximum in a controlled, functional way. Unlike traditional bodybuilding, which isolates muscle groups, functional training engages multiple muscle groups at once, improving strength, coordination, and endurance. This type of training mimics the movements we use in everyday life, such as bending, twisting, lifting, and balancing.

At first, I was intimidated. With my chronic pain, I didn’t know if my body could handle such intense movements. But I committed to it, knowing that the rewards would be worth the discomfort. Some days were incredibly tough, and there were times I couldn’t finish the workout because of flare-ups. But I always came back the next day, determined to continue. And over time, the benefits became clear.

Why Intensity Training Works for Me

Functional Strength
The most significant benefit of intensity functional training is that it builds functional strength - strength that translates into everyday life. It doesn’t just make you stronger; it helps you become more capable in performing daily tasks. I’ve noticed improvements in my ability to do everything from lifting groceries to picking up my son without straining. It makes everything feel a little easier.

Mood Boost and Mental Clarity
Like any high-intensity workout, functional training triggers the release of endorphins - the body’s natural ‘feel-good' chemicals. These endorphins improve my mood and give me a sense of well-being. Even on days when I felt mentally foggy or drained from chronic pain, the boost from training would lift my spirits and clear my head, helping me approach the rest of my day with a more positive outlook.

Increased Mobility
Functional training has also improved my mobility. Unlike bodybuilding, which focuses on muscle isolation, functional training works my body as a whole. It helps improve my joint movement, flexibility, and overall range of motion. For someone with chronic pain and stiffness, the increased mobility has been a game-changer, making it easier to move through my day with less discomfort.

Pain Management
One of the biggest surprises was how intensity training has helped me manage my chronic pain. When I first started, the pain was intense, and the workouts were gruelling. But over time, I found that building strength through functional training helped reduce the severity of my symptoms. It’s not a cure-all, but it has been one of the most effective ways to help manage my pain. When I have flare-ups, I don’t stop altogether - I simply modify the workout, knowing that the consistency of training will help my body become more resilient over time.

Endurance and Mental Toughness
Intensity training doesn’t just challenge the body; it challenges the mind. The mental strength required to push through intense workouts has had a profound effect on my overall mindset. It’s taught me to persevere, even when things are tough, and has helped me approach other aspects of life with greater mental toughness. The mental clarity I gain from pushing my body to its limit has been invaluable in overcoming depression and anxiety.

Combining Intensity Training with Weight Training

Although intensity training has become the cornerstone of my fitness routine, I still incorporate traditional weightlifting into my workouts.

Weight training is essential for building muscle mass and strength, and it complements functional training well. While I focus primarily on functional training for overall health and mobility, I still appreciate the benefits of isolating certain muscle groups through weightlifting.

The key is balance. Intensity training has helped me build functional strength and mobility, while weightlifting continues to improve my muscle mass and physical appearance. Together, these approaches make my body stronger, healthier, and more capable in every area of my life.

The Beginning Was Tough

When I first started intensity training, It was painful. My body wasn’t used to these movements, especially considering the chronic pain I was already managing. But the more I stuck with it, the more my body adapted. Even on the hardest days, I reminded myself that the long-term benefits would outweigh the initial discomfort. It wasn’t easy, but as time went on, I felt the difference: my body was stronger, my joints more mobile, and my energy levels increased.

Final Thoughts

Intensity functional training has been a transformative part of my fitness journey. It isn’t about building a perfect physique or lifting the heaviest weights - it’s about building a body that is functional, resilient, and capable. It has helped me improve my strength, mobility, and pain management, while also boosting my mood and mental toughness.

For anyone struggling with chronic pain or just looking for a more holistic approach to fitness, I highly recommend intensity functional training. It’s challenging, but the benefits are undeniable. Stick with it, be consistent, and your body will adapt and become stronger than you ever thought possible. Whether you’re lifting your kids, carrying groceries, or just trying to get through the day, intensity training can help make it all easier. Stay committed, and you’ll be amazed at how far you can go.

Chapter 16: My Daily Routines for Healing and Wellness with a Natural Approach

Throughout my journey of healing, I’ve learned the importance of consistency and dedication to routines. These practices have become the pillars of my day, helping me manage my pain, boost my mental health, and stay strong both physically and emotionally. Below are the routines I follow that have made a significant difference in my life.

Morning Routine: Kickstart Your Day

The way you start your day sets the tone for everything that follows. My morning routine is a combination of breathwork, cold exposure, and hydration, which work together to energise my body and mind.

Breathwork (3 rounds): As soon as I wake up, I start my day with three rounds of breathwork. I follow a specific video on YouTube, which has become a powerful tool for me in calming my nervous system and focusing my mind.

Cold Shower: I always take a cold shower immediately after the breathwork. It’s become non-negotiable for me. The cold shower helps me wake up fully, boost circulation, and reduce inflammation.

Cold Plunge (2-3 times a week): A couple of times a week, I take it a step further and do a cold plunge in an outdoor cold pool or bath. The extreme cold helps reset my nervous system and provides a deep sense of relaxation.

Nutrition: Fuelling My Body for Strength

A big part of my recovery has been focusing on my diet. I follow a strict carnivore-based, keto-friendly eating plan that eliminates processed foods and sugar.

Carnivore Diet: I only eat animal products - no processed meat, just clean, whole sources of protein like beef, chicken, and fish.

Water & Coconut Water: I stick to drinking water or coconut water - nothing else.

Intermittent Fasting: I follow a 16-hour intermittent fasting routine, meaning I don’t eat for 16 hours each day, and I only eat within an 8-hour window.

Exercise: Pushing My Limits

Physical activity is key to both my mental and physical well-being. I’ve found that pushing myself to the limit with intense training has been essential to rebuilding strength and maintaining mental clarity.

Intense Functional Training (2-3 times a week): I do high-intensity functional training, pushing my body to the limit.

Weight Training (2-3 times a week): I also lift weights, focusing on building strength and maintaining muscle mass.

Stretching & Mobility (2-3 times a week, 45 minutes): I make time for 45 minutes of both stretching and mobility exercises.

Therapy & Recovery: Restoring My Body and Mind

Taking care of my body and mind requires balancing hard work with proper recovery.

Trigger Point Therapy (once a week): I see my therapist, Charmayne, once a week for trigger point therapy.

Meditation (30 minutes every night): Every evening, I dedicate 30 minutes to meditation.

Acupuncture Mat (30 minutes every night): I use my acupuncture mat for 30 minutes each night.

Other Wellness Practices: Holistic Healing

Beyond the physical and mental routines, I’ve added a few practices to support my healing process and boost my mood.

Shilajit: Every morning, I take Shilajit resin with herbal tea and Lion’s Mane.

Sauna & Steam: Whenever I have the time, I use a sauna or steam room.

Final Thoughts: Consistency is Everything

These routines are not quick fixes - they’ve been built over time with dedication and persistence. If you’re going through a similar journey or struggling with your own health challenges, I encourage you to give some of these practices a try. Healing is a process, but with patience and consistency, anything is possible.

Chapter 17: Personal Trainer

As a qualified Personal Trainer with Level 2 and Level 3 certifications, I have the knowledge and expertise to help you achieve your fitness goals, whether that’s weight gain, weight loss, fat loss, building strength, or improving your overall fitness.

Through my own health and wellness journey, I’ve learned that true transformation requires both physical and mental support. I don’t just focus on workouts or diets; I understand that mindset plays a huge role in success. If you’re looking for someone who can guide you through the ups and downs of this journey, providing both the practical tools and mental encouragement, I’m here to help.

Whether you're looking for personalised training, nutrition plans, or mental coaching, I can support you every step of the way. If you believe I can help you with both mental and physical support and would like to have a 1-to-1 session, feel free to contact me. I’ll provide my details below.

Acknowledgments

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Charmayne and Johnny ‘Bang’ Reiley for their unwavering support and guidance throughout my journey. Your belief in me has been a source of strength.

I also want to take a moment to thank myself for the consistency and determination I’ve shown, pushing through when it felt impossible.

But most importantly, I owe everything to my son, Amari. You gave me the strength to keep going, and for that, I will forever be grateful. I love you more than words can say.

Words of Manassah Sharpe: ‘When situations seem impossible and giving up feels like the only option after repeated efforts, hope is still on the horizon. The breakthrough or change you're waiting for might come sooner than you think - perhaps even the very next day. Keep going’.

Thank You

Thank you for being part of this journey and taking the time to read my story. Everything I’ve shared has come from real experience - from trauma, recovery, and rebuilding my life piece by piece.

If you’d like more guidance, support, or one-to-one conversation about healing - whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional - you can reach out to me directly. I also work with people through Sharpe Fitness, offering personal training and coaching that focuses on rebuilding from the inside out.

You can also learn more about my healing journey and my Sharpe Fitness Shilajit through the links below.

Contact Details

Manassah Abate-Sharpe

Website: www.sharpefitness.uk

Email: info@sharpefitness.uk

Social Media: Sharpe Fitness

Phone: 07989 462004

Sharpe Fitness — I am the proof.

Additional Resources:

Breathwork Video I Use: Breathwork Video

Shilajit: Sharpe Fitness

Acupressure Mat: Acupressure mat

Jill Hanney’s Therapy Sessions:
Phone: 07540 610855

Charmayne’s Therapy Sessions:
Phone: 07916765052
Email: char_sportsrehab@yahoo.co.uk